Now I remember why I don’t post every day, it’s because I run rapidly out of ideas.

….. tuk tuk tuk tuk….(the unmistakable sound of tumbleweeds rolling across the vast empty desert of my brain)

It’s Melbourne Cup day tomorrow which means most of our fine nation’s population will be shitfaced by midday.

Oh yes, it is the “RACE THAT STOPS THE NATION”, if only because everyone is too pissed to answer the phones.

I just realised that a lot of Australia’s big days involved drinking copious amounts of booze.

Australia Day? Booze.
Anzac Day? Booze.
Christmas Day? Booze.
Public Holidays? Booze.

But tomorrow, for possibly the first time since I was about 16 (and the three years I was overseas) I won’t be drinking. Because I need to drive home and I can barely concentrate after a coffee, let alone a few glasses of bubbly.

Oh yeah, and is illegal and stuff too.

I think I confused NPW by referring to Agro. To answer your question Nance, Agro is a puppet, who was on kids tele for a few years and THEN he was on the radio (a puppet, on the radio. Is that weird?)

I thought he was HILARIOUS. When I was seven. It wore a bit thin by the time I was 24.

But seeing this Christmas tape actually made me laugh a couple of times.

The lovely NancyPearlWannabe left this comment last night
“Dear LaLa,
Please write a post about all the fun Aussie things you do that we cannot do here in the States.
Love,
NPW”

I have really had to think about this. In the States you do all sorts of fun things that we don’t really do like Halloween, we don’t do Thanksgiving and Keg Parties never really took off.
I’ve been to a good Toga Party in my time (TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!), possibly wearing a pastel blue sheet with… erm…geese on it.

Australia Day would be one of our unique celebratory days, you can see photos from my last one here and read about reasons why I love Australia Day here.

It’s a great day and a great reason to become Australian. If you are ever considering becoming Australian I suggest that you put this reason on your immigration application form.
“I want to become an Australian so that I can drink copious amounts of beer and wine and wear a silly Australian flag tattoo and green and gold clothes on Australia Day.”

Another great aspect of Australian life is our slang, you know you are on home soil when you hear someone working at customs call their colleague a “nong”.
Some of my favourites are:
Pissed – drunk.
Rack off – go away, get lost.
Tightarse – someone who won’t buy a drink or wont part with money.
Thingy / thingo / thingummyjig – any thing that doesn’t have a precise name.
Jingoes – exclamation of surprise.
In fact, sometimes I like to say “By jingoes, by crikey” when I am surprised about something.
It’s very satisfying.
That or “Are you fucking serious?”
I am usually pretty surprised when I say that too.

We can also celebrate Christmas in summer, you can read about my plans for Christmas last year here.
I hope I have provided you with a unique insight into what life in Australia is like.

Oh yeah. I ride a kangaroo to work