NaBloPoMo – Day Ten.

Do you know what I am loving about Nablopomo? The fact that I have the same title every day, something has to be easy about posting every day for a month.

I am posting a little early today as I am off to the city soon to go shopping, or as we call it in Toowoomba, “downtown”. Late this afternoon I am off to Lizzie’s for a few “woine toimes” to celebrate her birthday… I am thinking I may well be very ill tomorrow… I am pretty much a once a month drunk these days..

Today kids I would like to bring up the forthcoming Australian Federal Election.

As I have said many times before I can’t pretend to know much about politics and yes I know I should be well-informed and that because yadda yadda affects me and blah blah I have a choice, but I happen to think they are all lying pricks who will say anything to get into power and then DO THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY SAID… I am looking at you John Howard and your statement on GST…

“When asked whether he would follow the failed John Hewson tax model and introduce a Goods and Services Tax (GST), Howard replied:
“There’s no way that GST will ever be part of our policy…. Never ever. It’s dead”

Thanks for introducing GST John, I was worried you meant it would never be a part of your policy.

So it’s election time again and it appears there is a general feeling in the air that Kevin may take it out.

Not that I am particularly enamoured with Kevin either, he has got a terribly weak chin and a funny little voice, but some of his promises, which may prove to be big, fat fibs seem quite attractive.

It’s amazing that Kevin has this groundswell of support DESPITE some of “scandals” around him over the past year…

Therese, his wife, was accused of underpaying her staff.

Then there was the Anzac Day staged memorial service. (I am fairly safe in saying I think the one thing you should not fuck with in Australian society is Anzac Day, we get awfully touchy)

The strip club scandal. I remember saying to Schoon that I would have been surprised if he hadn’t been to a strip club at some stage of his life and it made him seem more normal, a view I think a lot of people our age held. Then he had to ruin it all by saying he had only been drunk twice in his life.

That statement may have done him more harm than good, after all this is a country where our former leader Bob Hawke has the following on his Wikipedia page;

“His academic achievements were possibly outweighed by the notoriety he achieved as the holder of a world record for the fastest consumption of beer: a yard glass (approximately 3 imperial pints or 1.7 litres) in eleven seconds . In his memoirs, Hawke suggested that this single feat may have contributed to his political success more than any other, by endearing him to a voting population with a strong beer culture.”

The latest drama for our wannabe leader is this one…

Eating your own earwax on tele….
It truly is shaping up to be a corker of an election.

NaBloPoMo – Day Five.

Now I remember why I don’t post every day, it’s because I run rapidly out of ideas.

….. tuk tuk tuk tuk….(the unmistakable sound of tumbleweeds rolling across the vast empty desert of my brain)

It’s Melbourne Cup day tomorrow which means most of our fine nation’s population will be shitfaced by midday.

Oh yes, it is the “RACE THAT STOPS THE NATION”, if only because everyone is too pissed to answer the phones.

I just realised that a lot of Australia’s big days involved drinking copious amounts of booze.

Australia Day? Booze.
Anzac Day? Booze.
Christmas Day? Booze.
Public Holidays? Booze.

But tomorrow, for possibly the first time since I was about 16 (and the three years I was overseas) I won’t be drinking. Because I need to drive home and I can barely concentrate after a coffee, let alone a few glasses of bubbly.

Oh yeah, and is illegal and stuff too.

I think I confused NPW by referring to Agro. To answer your question Nance, Agro is a puppet, who was on kids tele for a few years and THEN he was on the radio (a puppet, on the radio. Is that weird?)

I thought he was HILARIOUS. When I was seven. It wore a bit thin by the time I was 24.

But seeing this Christmas tape actually made me laugh a couple of times.