Ha-Ha

A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself :

Man: May I buy you a cocktail?’
Maxine:  ‘No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs.’
Man:  ‘Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?’
Maxine:  ‘No, they spread.’

NaBloPoMo – Day Six.

Everyone is out pissed after the races, I stayed sober but this email from Sticky brings back good memories. Or no memory as it were.

Things that are difficult to say when you’re drunk….

a) innovative
b) preliminary
c) proliferation
d) cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you’re
drunk…

a) specificity
b) British Constitution
c) passive-aggressive disorder
d) transubstantiates

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when
you’re drunk…

a) Thanks, but I don’t want to sleep with you
b) Nope, no more booze for me
c) Sorry but you’re not really my type
d) No kebab for me, thank you
e) Good evening officer, isn’t is lovely out tonight?
f) I’m not interested in fighting you
g) Oh, I just couldn’t – no-one wants to hear me sing
h) Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I
have no co-ordination. I’d hate to look like a fool
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in
the street
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning