Hello, my name is LaLa.
I used to be able to see, but now I can only squint and it hurts.
Fuck this laser shit. I am never doing it again.
If LaLa was really typing this it would look like..
kr8ty9tl99kr7h67we7390-
…so the typing today will be brought to you by Mick, the Master Carer.
Day 1
Surgery was really quite odd. I was a bit zonked on a Xanax but completely awake during the operation. They do all sorts of fandangalled stuff like melting the epithelial layer of the Cornea and then Lasering inside.
The laser stinks to all hell. Like burnt pig hair. Then they flush your eye out with freezing cold water. The 2nd was much worse than the first because I knew what was coming. Thank fuck I don’t have more than 2 eyes. (Mick: Brown Eye?)
After the operation they put me in a dark room and brought in my other Master Carer, Schoonee. This is when the good shit happened and they gave me 3 Valium. That’s about all I remember of that and the trip home. You will have to email Schoonee direct for details of that.
When we got home it got even better because I got 3 more Valium and have vague recollections of Schoonee waking me up and giving me all sorts of drops. I slept rooly well.
Day 2
I don’t really remember much about the next morning either. I think I had a half-hour conversation with Schoonee’s friend Louie, who is a register Nurse and checked out my eyes and said they looked good, but I may have slept on and off during that conversation, and then my lover, Mick, arrived.
He had had a gig the night before, pulled 3 hours sleep and then drove 3 hours up to Sydney to become Carer Part 2. Luckily he was pretty tired so we had another sleep.
Overall I quite enjoyed days 1 and 2 because I don’t really remember them.
Day 3
I am now able to open my eyes more than a squint, however I feel completely out of whack and cross-eyed and very frustrated. Mick had bought me 2 talking books, but I am only up to Chapter 2 of the John Grisham one. The mans voice is so melodic that I keep nodding off.
I’ve also had phone calls from concerned relatives and text messages from friends which I have to have other people read out for me.
Probablt the fuinniest incident was when I tried to speak to Grandma, but I had the mobile phone upside down and back to front! I thought something was wrong with my hearing as well.
I am now in a fair bit of pain because presumably the epithelial layer is growing back. RIght now I feel like I will never be able to see properly again, though this is probably just me being dramatic.
MIck just snorted when I said that (Ha…yes I did!)
I have had some unusual one sided conversations with MIck whilst on Valium, including ‘I have too many shoes, I have to get rid of some’, and ‘Were we smoking cigarettes oin the beach today?’. Sometimes I just like to sit up in bed and say, ‘What?’
Mick now has some insight into what I will be like when i am old.
Hope you are all well, and can see…..I so jelus, I hate your gutses..
Me and Goggy hanging out.
If this doesn’t work I am going to use Goggy’s eyes…
Bye bye.
PS – Am unable to shower for 3 days. You can imagine how attractive I feel…(Mick: and smells…pew)
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