I think I have a new favourite hobby.
After watching the dramas surrounding Sally’s wedding on Home & Away tonight I started debating how many weddings Sally had had so far and decided to google it.
Oh, Wikipedia, how I heart thee. Not only did I find out how many times Sally has been set to wed (three times) but I discovered some absolute gems in the character biographies. Obviously the information is user-generated but it cracks me up, not only because of the sagas of a soap opera and the grammatically incorrect sentences but also because they have been written about like they are real people.
Sally:
“Sally went to Ireland for a holiday and returned with a Fiance-Kieran.Kieran started flirting with other women and it was not until the wedding that Sally discovered this.Sally dumped Kieran and was left heartbroken.After this Sally developed the condition OCD-Obsessive Compulsion disorder.Sally soon recovered from this with the help of her friends.”
“Sally was once a conscientious, serious person, but as she matured and achieved fulfilment in life, she has become a mother figure and role model and is an integral part of the Summer Bay community, both to other characters and to viewers.”
Good old Sal, ey?
Matilda:
“She had developed a rivalry with Belle Taylor due to Belle breaking up Cassie Turner, Matilda’s best friend, and Ric. Ironically, Matilda, now dating Cassie’s and Belle’s ex-boyfriend Ric, and Belle, now dating Matilda’s ex-boyfriend Lucas, were forced to meet together due to Ric and Lucas’ close friendship. Although Belle and Matilda are not the closest of friends, they are no longer arch-rivals.”
Now… I watch the show and I still have no fucking idea what they are talking about in that paragraph.
“Then, Beth, her mother died in a car crash. This sent her into absolute shock and devastation which made her run away from home. Along the way she fell into the sea.”
Hahahahaha.
Morag:
“When it was revealed that Bobby was Morag’s daughter, Bobby and Morag hated each other and after Morag’s plane crashed into the sea, Bobby wanted to tell her how much she hated her when she came out of her coma.”
“On Australia Day 2007, Morag left Summer Bay to work on a big case in the city as the magistate. She said that she wanted to find herself with her work.”
Don’t we all darls?
And I just couldn’t finish this without Alf:
“Alf is most known for his use of declining Australian slang, such as the words “flamin’ mongrel”, “holy grandpa on a stick, grandma”, “strewth” and “strike my living harry”. His most famous quotes are “stone the flamin’ crows”, “flaming mongrels”, “flaming galah” and “strike me roan”"
“Alf opened a business with Jesse McGregor, who was a crook in his younger days; they opened a bait store which they called ‘Alf and Jesse’s Baits and Bits Store’. However, the place was burnt down by a madman.”
Oooh. The MADMAN!
“In 1995, Ailsa went through a period of depression following an armed hold-up at the Diner. She was on tranquilisers and had a vision of Bobby coming out of the fridge one night.”
I can’t believe I have watched this shit for almost 20 years.
“Over the next few months, Alf tried to keep a brave face, but he was becoming depressed, and for a while allowed a coin to make all of his decisions for him”
Of course, wouldn’t you?
I am now off to toss a coin to see who will make the next cuppa, Schoonee or me.
(PS Typo’s in quotations not mine!)
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