The Bitch Is Back….

… more to come….

Weeeee LOOOOOVVVE…

GARETH!. Yay.

He is GREAT.

And, if you are looking for a reason to become a Christian look no further.

Chow chow.

**What a lazy post, linking to someone else’s wit**

Yay! We are in debt!

“My eyes! My eyes! I cannot seeeeee!”

* Just in case any of you are confused, Schoonee and I are NOT a couple. We are flatmates who are investing in property together because we are too poor to do it individually.

Having said that I could understand if he fancies me because I am incredibly hot and stuff (stuff may be the operative word there)

** Big thank you to the lovely Andy for the bubbly. We are so sad we have kept the cork.
And the bottle
And the foil from the top of the bottle
And the wire thing, because it says Moet on it.

And you thought YOU knew Me

Thanks Aly, I may not be taking part in Noploblobomogomo thingie, but I am a little seedy this morning and this is a nice easy post to do!

Five Things You Might Not Know About Me.

1. I swear. More than Aly. I even say the “c” word, but funnily enough I won’t blog that word. Hmmm… I have no qualms about polluting the ears of everyone around me, but the innernet, a place of porn and depravity, no.

I will however type fuck, shit, arsehole, bastards, wankers and fuckwittage.

There are certain people I try not to swear around – My Grandparents, other people of their generation, my nieces and nephew, other peoples children and clients. I do try to be respectful. My boss thinks it’s hilarious to give me a couple of beers and then listen to me swear.

2. I am not a very fussy eater. I generally eat anything but don’t like the following foods:

Fish with too many bones
Anchovies
Fishy tasting fish
Pickled Herring (and yes, as I have a Swedish Stepmum, I have tried it on several occasions)
Spam
Green Capsicum
Pickled eggs
Eel
And I am not big with fruit in my food, so I don’t like raisins or oranges in salads, I don’t like cranberry sauce with turkey and I certainly do not like the lingonberry sauce they put with the meatballs in the Ikea cafe. I do however, love pineapple on my pizza.

(I can’t even believe I am blogging about this shit)

3. I have very olive skin, I have on occasion been sunburnt but I generally just get browner and browner. I try to always wear Factor 30 to the beach and my Mum has always made me use sunscreen on my face, neck and backs of my hands every day as this is where you show your age first.

My Mum is very smart.

Having said all of that though, I am more likely to get sunburnt drinking in the sun because then I am a moron.

4. I am a Sales person.
I do not think this comes naturally to me, it goes against my behavioural instincts to ask people for money. I am a natural born Customer Service person so I have recently had to re-learn and change some of my behaviour.

Schoonee and I were talking about our talents last night and I decided that my talents lie in knowing random useless information and Mothering people. Schoonee is good with cords, computers and phone contracts – 3 things that bore me senseless (Note I said computers, not the intermanet, I love it)

5. All this talk about talents and turning 30 has made me reevaluate things, I am currently looking in to studying make-up artistry next year.
It’s a lot of money so I will probably have to start with a little course but as I said to Schoon last night “some people are good at saving peoples lives, I am really good at saying “to bring out your eyes we need to use a base of gold shimmer and then outline your eyes with a peacock green” so I think I should go with what I know”

I have no words – I am SPEECHLESS.

And for me, that is a BIG, FUCKING DEAL.

My beautiful, wonderful, fucking fantastic friend Lizzy has given up her ticket to see Elton John next week TO GIVE TO ME.

****GOBSMACKED****

I LOVE ELTON JOHN. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE HIM.

I shall be sitting with Lizzy’s poor, poor husband who is in “the biz” and will no doubt LOVE, LOVE, LOVE having me shrieking in his ear, grabbing his hand to wave it in the air and occasionally punching the crap out of his arm in excitement.

I am so going to ruin his reputation.

Can’t post anymore.

Overwhelmed. (That, and sometime during this whole couple of weeks of madness and po-going at the U2 concert and other shenanigans, I did something evil to my lower back which then starting piss farting around with the nerve that runs through to my BOTTOM, therefore making it painful to pick up my Regular Soy Latte so I had to go to my wonderful, wonderful chiro today but then I went for a 20 lap swim in our pool tonight (Did I mention the new units have a POOL? (And can you have brackets within brackets, I am never sure?)) so between the excitement and the cracking of the lower extremities and the swimming…. I am fucking tired.)

Mwah mwah xx

PS I know I said I was signing off and all but can I just point out that this means I will have seen The Rolling Stones, U2 AND Elton this year?

That is just SILLY.

I know it is not a big deal if you live in places close to OTHER places like in Europe, but the only place close to us is Enzed and if they are not coming here that are certainly not going there to play so I am VERY LUCKY. These are people I have been waiting ALL MY LIFE to see. (Apart from U2 who I have seen twice before but then I would wait my WHOLE life to see them again, so they count)
Is it any wonder I could not afford the emotional investment to see Kyles, Fleetwood Mac and Billy Joel as well?

I would surely die of excitement.

I feel slightly grown up….

Today it is one month and seven days until my 30th birthday. Fuck me.

And from today Schoon and I are officially homeowners, even though settlement does not take place until March due to the tenants refusing to move. The wee whores.

All in all it’s been a really great day, I even had a successful day at work (nearly bloody 30 and I still can never remember how to spell successful) despite having to trawl around Sydney in 40+ Degree Celsius heat. If MY conversions are correct (which, at nearly 30 I am still crap at Maths) is 104 Fahrenheit. At one stage I looked at the temperature on the car dash thingie (nearly 30) and it was 44oC, or 111.2F.

FAAAAR OUT.

It was like standing in a warm sausage roll.

And I only like to EAT sausage rolls, not wear them.

U2 – SYDNEY, NOVEMBER 10TH, 2006

Me and The Shez

The Staaage

LaLa, Hazie and Schoon

Those Stadium lights are very bright.

Very bright.

Very excited.

Yeeeees!

Double Yeees!

“Sometimes you can’t mkae it on your own”

Stuff

More Stuff

I loooooove you Booonooo.

I am getting bored of captions now.

So bored.

Caption this one yourself.

And this one.

But look, so HAPPY!

Like those 2 old men out of The Muppets.