Drinks of yore

So, Aly’s, comments on Tropicana got me to thinking about the drinks I used to indulge in until evil hangovers slowly wound the list of drinks that I can stomach down to beer, wine and Bloody Mary’s.

Kahlua – Ah. My old friend. We used to be such good mates! I would drink you with milk, or you would bring your mates Baileys and Midori along and we would do those shots which I obviously did so many of that I can’t even remember their name (Here’s the interesting thing though, I tried to eugooglise it and found out there is a shot called Butt Fucker. How fascinating) But then Kahlua, you’re just too damn sweet for your own good, and I had to drink SO much of you to get pissed and all that milk was making me fat, though my bones were strong.

Blue Vok – I don’t even fucking know what was going on when I started drinking this. Tastes like shit and makes your teeth and tongue blue. I guess I was just being 19.

Midori – Oh yes, we had some good times, but you gave me freaking heartburn. Next!

Tequila – Ah Tequila. Oh how we used to laugh together, and go dancing, and we may have even pashed some random men in our time. I still love you but only on special occasions.

Butterscotch Schnapps – Back in the days when I would throw massive parties for any reason whatsoever (Such as the Fuck The Flowers Anti Carnival of Flowers Party. The Noah’s Ark party after it had rained for 3 weeks solid) we would purchase a massive bottle of Butterscotch Schnapps and hide it in my cupboard with some shot glasses. This was the SECRET SHOT SOCIETY, or SSS. Throughout the party we would sneak off and have a sneaky shot, inviting a few choice party goers to become an honorary member of SSS for the night. Usually anyone I wanted to pash. Schnapps can be held responsible for the person that puked out my bedroom window and down the side of my house.

Banana Liqueur – Now, I am hesitant to say that I ever really drank this shit but someone brought it to a cocktail party we held, one of those ones where everyone has to bring a bottle and you just make up the most obscene “cocktails”. About a quarter of the bottle was used that night and the rest sat on my kitchen shelf gathering dust and grease (What is that grease in kitchens, it DISTURBS me) for about 3 years…. until… until… Carrie and I decided to “marinate” watermelon in it and we sat on the floor eating it and calling random numbers in the UK in the hope we could listen to men’s sexy English accents. Sad but true. The floor was a fucking mess with sticky banana liquer all over it and I had the most revolting phone bill a couple of weeks later.

Just another few reasons why alcohol is bad kids.