Brilliant. Can Celebrity Reality tv get any better?
What a bunch of deadshits. I can’t believe how many Z list celebrities they have dragged out the closet for this one.
A review of our “celebrities”
Amber Petty – allegedly an Entertainment Reporter, though not on anything I have ever seen, and you know I love my shitty, gossipy tele. She was also, OUR MARY’S Bridesmaid. Ooh-er. She’s better looking than Angie Bishop, but is desperate need of a good moisturiser.
David Oldfield – GAH. Nose like Play-Doh and founding member of “One Nation” – ’nuff said.
Elton Flatley – allegedly a “Wallaby Legend” – Think he has the name of an Irish Dancing rock-star. No neck.
Fiona Horne – Ahhh.. Remember the days when she was in Def FX. Well, now she is a White Witch, and now she is a bossy-boots bitch. Old Fi’ has her claws out for Imogen in the first episode.
Gabrielle Richens – “The Pleasure Machine” – Christ. I am desperately trying to remember what this girl is famous for. I think she caused some Bulldogs player to up and fly to London to see her, right when he was expected to play a game or sumpy. She is sort of a queen in the “celebrity” reality tv shows. From what I can gather she has been on 5 of them in the UK and here She is about to make her acting debut in Hollywood. Yeah. Can’t fucking wait.
Guy Leech – Former World Ironman Champ – Um yeah. Runs and stuff.
Imogen Bailey – Model/Media Personality – You just know that when someone is known as a Media Personality, it means they are no one. As far as I can tell she is short but models bikinis a lot and loves pigs. It’s 9:20pm and my money is on her to leave as old Fiona White Witch is casting some spells on the others. Imogen also has a really annoying voice.
Justin Melvey – Actor – “Famous” for Bummer Bay, sorry Home & Away. Former hotty turned chubstick. I find him repulsive and insipid either way.
Kym Johnson – Dancer – That cross-eyed dancer from Dancing With The Stars who dumped the cricketer for Tom The Chippy. Meh.
Nicolle Dickson – Former Actress/Mum – Oh Lord. Bobby from Home & Away. I thought she was dead (Both her and Bobby)
Wayne Gardner – World 500CC Motorcycle champion – Schoonee said that Wayne has stacked on the weight, that’s all that I know about him.
(AND WHAT’S WITH THESE FUCKING ADS? HOW MANY FUCKING ADS DO YOU NEED?)
As for our fearless host, Dicko, well, he truly is the KING of reality tv in Australia. ‘Straaaayan Idol, Moy Restarant rulz, DANCING with the Stars and now this.
Dicko is truly not suited to this role as he is white, podgy and English. Give me Jeff Probst anyday.
MY GOD. Cross-eyed Kimmy with the kick arse body is out! That was a true shock. I thought for sure it would be piggie lover.
Thanks for the breakdown…I sadly missed this last night as I decided that to hell with the whole stupidity of it, I am going to watch a cartoon character interview real people, followed by the Ronnie Johns show. Thats a whole different story, but it sounds as though I am not missing anything.
I would assume Guy Leech would win this as he is apparently still a machine, but honestly, is it really about winning and losing to these kids? Hell no, it is all about getting another gig at the end of it to add to the resume. I bet they are all a bit pissed it is not on channel 10 as at least they would get an interview on Rove out of it.
And no shit, I watched the 10 preview of it last week and did a double take when I saw Bobbie from home and away on there…I thought she must have been in ghost form, like when she appeared to Ailsa that time and told her to do evil shit…
All that said, the tape will be set for next weeks episode
And I thought British “Celebrity” Shows were sad… good God I’m glad i’m over here!
But knocksie, it doesn’t sound any worse that Celebrity Love Island. Where’s a Tsunami when you need one?
Alright… admit it… you all want me to tape it for you? It’s CAR CRASH tele. Seriously. You CANNOT look away (unless you are desperately trying to live blog to it and then you go cross eyed like Kimmy)
if you feel you must tape it, I suppose that would be ok…